Milestone of Love

After about 70 years of Independence and 7 years of ‘3 Idiots’ 

have we really changed, at least a bit?

There are many events which made me write this post but I would like to highlight only two of them, because they involve people who are close to me, people whom I should have been able to influence, and people about whom I care the most.

Event 1:

We were at a family get together and a group of adults (all supposedly successfully settled people) were discussing what this young boy should to do with his future. This kid was awaiting his HSC result and had been in touch with me for quite a while. From all the discussions with him I realized that he had zero interest and inclination towards maths and science. He is weak in logic and lacks analytical skills. However, he has lot of interest in Music and all everything related o music. He plays guitar quite well. He is also an automobile enthusiast. 

But as it happens with most of them at this age, the kid couldn’t figure out what he wanted do with his future. Hence the best people to decide that were his parents. And they decided to do what most parents in today’s India do; get him admitted to Engineering. In spite of his abysmal performance in science subjects, in spite of his little inclination to those subjects, in spite of the high cost of engineering education, in spite of the growing unemployment of engineering graduates, he was admitted to engineering.

Event 2:

We were at another family get together and as usual my two and half year old kid was enjoying the presence of a lot of audience to his antics. He loves singing, dancing, mimicking others and also loves the attention of people cheering him for his performance. So one of my friends said “isko toh actor hi banao”, make him an actor; another said “ye toh singer banega”, he will become a singer. I said “I don’t know what he’s going to be in future, but we are going to start training him for all of these things very soon.”  “He also loves to play musical instruments”, I added. To that a friend, a 30 something guy, who is father of a 4 year old girl, said “par academics bhi toh zaruri hai. Ye sabb toh chalta rehta hai.” All that is good but what is most important is academics. 

Coming back to Event 1.

It is often difficult to convince the parents that kids could excel in careers other than engineering and medical and would do well in their life. These parents won’t agree to the idea that rather than making kids study what they don’t like and fail, why not allow them to fail and learn what they like. In due course they might discover something better about themselves. Mostly conclusion is that Water has already flown under the bridge. There is no point in arguing with people who have lived with their beliefs and principles through 45-50 years of their life.

But what about the kid who is having exposure to the latest technology, to the Internet and the social media. Why is he not able to make a career choice of his interest on his own? How come this boy is like I was or my friends used to be at that age; confused, clueless, following parents or following the trend?

Because the kid is as fearful as his parents are. The parameters of success in life are well defined in our society; where success is defined by the marks u get, by the salary u command, by the car you drive and by the house you live in. It doesn’t matter whether you are happy or whether you are a good human being.

Why do we need to force them into a career choice at that age? How can a kid be sure at that age whether his interest will earn him good fortune and fame in future? All passionate science enthusiast don’t become successful scientists. All passionate musicians are not successful commercially. But everyone eventually discovers his own path.

We always discuss that things are changing. Today’s parents are not like their parents used to be. The outlook of society as a whole is changing. But then, after instances like the one in Event 2, it makes me think, whether we have really grown up as a society. Today also parents of my age think the way my parents used to think.

And while I try to reason that, I realized that whatever amount of advanced technology our kids have, however high fundoo schools they study in, it will not make a difference to their lives until the outlook of the family and the society changes. Two generations have already passed since independence. How much more time will it take for us to learn to let our kids live a life free of any expectations?

On a lighter note, in India’s supposedly most advanced Metro city, I work with a NGO where most of the volunteers are teenagers. All of them possess special capabilities; they are excellent dancers, sportsmen, writers, singers, painters, photographers and what not. But ironically all of them are Engineers by profession or at least by qualification, barring a few who are doctors and CAs.